muz4now on Mastodon
A stereo imager plugin shows a scatter plot that has taken the shape of two hearts on top of each other.

I’ve Got Some Explaining To Do

It’s dangerous to explain before I do something. But I think I owe it to you.

Explaining What?

A Tibetan meditation singing bowl in a person's hand.

You expect my tracks to be mellow (since so many of them have been). Up to this point, many of my compositions, improvisations, and songs are uplifting and positive. The thing is, that’s not all there is to life. And that’s where the explaining begins.

As a dear friend used to say, “Life is twisty.” Sometimes, those twists come from inside myself. Just as often, I must adapt to something regarding friends and family. But occasionally, world events affect me in a powerful way.

Who Is This?

As you may know, I was once a preacher. That was several occupations and many years ago. Still, it’s part of who I am.

On the flip side, I know only too well that it’s no fun to be preached at. The songs I’m about to release are about as preachy as I’m going to get these days. And I want you to hear that they come from a place of deep concern.

I am concerned for our humanity. Because otherwise “good” people get pumped up by the hate mongers, I worry about the future of our human race. Everything in me wants us to rise to the occasion. And that means calling ourselves to our higher nature, not to the voices of hate.

Heart Explaining

For the blog post, "I've got some explaining to do" - a stereo imager plugin displays a scatter plot that has formed into two hearts.

Near the final stages of the recording process, I began what’s known as mastering. One part of this process can use a stereo imager. This tool helps to visualize and optimize the spread across the stereo field. But this time, it had another job, too.

As I was nearing the completion of the second (out of three) of these recordings, I noticed something flash across the imager. Intrigued, I replayed the same section of the music and saw it again. There in the display were two hearts stacked on each other.

I could feel myself soften as I saw those hearts. Intuitively, I reminded myself that our hearts are “stacked”. We rely on each other. That reliance is something we can build. What we need is to come from our open hearts.

Please check back for that new music. It will be here and on all streaming services.


While these upcoming songs come from my heart, they are also my attempts to express my anger. I am angry that people who I trusted have attacked others I love with their rhetoric and with their voting for hate mongers. I’ve heard from friends that this happening in the USA, Canada, UK, Spain, and many other places. When these formerly trusted people “explain” themselves, they repeat falsehoods. The same falsehoods those sellers of hate have already told.

Worse yet, I have seen people who I thought had good hearts turn against the coming generations. We cannot destroy the earth and say that we care about children. Neither can we repudiate decency and say that we want the best for young people. Certainly, we cannot spew hatred for people who are not the same as us while claiming to want the best for future generations. These are diametrically opposed.

But Seriously

As I observe people, I see so much of this outrage that spews the stories (on repeat) from hate mongers. Don’t get me wrong, I know what it’s like to express my rage inappropriately. I did it for more years than I care to remember. So, I sought help and got it. That took a variety of forms. Thankfully, I now have tools to process my anger more cleanly. I’m committed to taking responsibility for my own feelings and behaviors.

Anger does not give me license to act out against other people. Quite to the contrary, anger means that I have an internal process that I need to care for. Often, my anger and rage cover up feelings of fear or shame. That’s where I try to focus my energy.

Though I can empathize with outrage that is outwardly focused, that does not justify it. I cannot look the other way when this misdirected outrage hurts people that I care about.

Hug the ones you love.

Leave Your Response

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.