A lifetime is not a long-time1. When I heard that Tom had gone to hospice, I knew that his spouse and he were consciously entering into the end of his life.
Tom, Friend
Tom and I met many years ago through InterPlay. I joined the ranks of this organization and way of life mostly through the influence of its founder, Phil Porter. At the time, I was living in Oakland, California. Perhaps I met Tom at one of the International InterPlay Conferences there.
One of my vivid memories is of a contact dance workshop that he led at one of those conferences. This is where I also met Tony Hole (from Australia). Tony, Tom, and I did an improvised trio dance during that session which I remember particularly clearly.
Tom, Mentor
After that, Tom and I corresponded on email intermittently over many months. He was a poet. We both appreciated a few poets including David Whyte, so we’d share his poetry along with some of our own original poems.
Several times over the years, the two of us would go off for a cup of coffee or tea and chat about our lives. So much of his experience of life and relationships informed me in a very positive way. In fact, my life was transformed more than once because of something Tom instilled in me.
Memory
I’ll be honest: I did not realize how much impact this human being had on my life until he was gone. I interacted with Tom for all of those years. I knew I cared about him and looked up to him. He seemed to reciprocate. But the sheer power of his life in mine was bigger than I had realized.
I’m grateful that I knew Tom while he was alive.
- I first heard this quote from Jeff Altman. He never claimed to be the originator of it, but I’ll give him credit for passing it along at least. ↩︎
So sad to lose a precious friend Stan, but as you expressed it was clearly a pleasure and privilege to know him, and for him to know you too. You will always have those joyful memories.
Dear Helene,
Thank you.
Stan