The sun rises above an ocean beach into a sky with many, thick clouds

Love’s Shifting Nature – in memory and in honor

If you’ve lost a loved one, you’ll know what I mean. If you’ve been a friend to someone who lost their most dear family member, you’ll understand. The more we love, the more likely we are to grieve.

Memory

You lived your life. Besides traveling, creating homes, loving your loved ones, committing to your partner, and bearing a child, you engaged with so many people as a friend.

A grieving person wears a pandemic mask and holds 6 white roses - photo: Mikhail Nilav via Pexels

For years, near the end of your life, cancer started to take you from us. Those friends, some of whom you called “angels“, gathered around you and your family. Even on the most challenging days, you spoke to people who came to visit as if they were the most important being on the planet.

Love and Loss

You kept seeking ways to put the cancer behind you. And when the time came, a few of those angels helped you say your truth: that you did not need to fight any more. Even then, you were alive for weeks and we continued to do what we could to keep you company and support your family.

Your young family also stayed true to you. Both your spouse and your child are stars in my eyes. And when you died, theirs and so many others’ hearts broke. It didn’t matter that we’d had the long road towards death to prepare. The moment of your death still hit many of us with a deep sense of loss.

Honor

We laid your body, wrapped only in a sheet, into the earth. Your other Mother welcomed you. You asked us to dance at your grave and so we did.

Love's loss - Family and friends process to the burial site

To celebrate your memory and to honor your family, we gathered. People told about real memories of their connection with you. Some told stories of mischief, achievement, learning, and so much more. All of the stories felt like love of one kind or another.

Thank you for those memories. Thank you for the energy of your love (and our love for you); how it stays with us now. Blessed be.

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