Transitioning

It seems to me like life is full of transitions. Each day brings it’s own changes and these changes call on me to adapt or transition. Today: a former roomate’s step-father recently died; my best friend’s dad just got out of the hospital; my dad has a will-not-stop tear duct that may require surgery and my eyes are watering (on behalf of?); it’s my first day back to work after two days out with a cold; and I have unanswered questions about my future always on the back-burner these days. All of these call for me to transition along with them. Seems like my theme for the day is fathering. Step-father, father, dad, fathering myself.

I’m not sure that the cold is gone yet. Maybe my self-care is lagging. How well is my transition into self-fathering going, then? Not as well as I’d like.

My dad was a Protestant (Christian Church – Disciples of Christ) minister and I guess he still is in his retirement. To me, it seemed like he was always there for other people. He’s been a great example to me of an open-hearted man. I still strive to open and soften my heart the way I’ve seen him do. And I would say that he’s done some great self-care in retirement: traveling to many places around the globe while continuing to work part time. I would say that both of these pursuits are dear to him and he does well to go after them with gusto — which is exactly what he is doing.

But, back to me… I’m looking for some inspiration to make today’s transition or maybe just to determine what this transition looks like. Yes. I’ll be pulling a card from the InterPlay Inspiration Deck to help me gain some direction. I notice that Monday’s selection “Inner Authority” with its yellow sun is still on top, so I shuffle the deck even more than I usually do.

Surprise! It’s “On Behalf Of” with the cool dragonfly symbol. The colors are enticing. The stylized body seated in lotus position frames the green dragonfly.

Okay. I don’t get it. Why would I get this card today? Don’t I just need to take care of myself at the moment? Guess I’d better read the story on the back. Here’s the phrase that most catches my attention:

“She sees everyone who has shared their pain with her bathed in warmth and love.”  Nice.  That’s the kind of acceptance I observed in my dad and in the literally hundreds of InterPlayers who have done Dances On Behalf Of for me.  Now that’s music to my internal ears.

What if I were to approach myself the way On Behalf Of (from the InterPlay Inspiration Deck) does?  This small, round card has so much to teach me.  Not that the universe hasn’t tried to bring me this noticing before.  My dad modeled it for me.  All those Dancers On Behalf Of showed me the possibility of bringing this “warmth and love” to myself.  I created my mission in the men’s work in 2002 that incorporates this open-heartedness:  “I open my heart to create a world where I and others are enlivened to appreciate and co-create beauty.”  For whatever reason, I waited for this round card to be my real teacher.  I am grateful.  I am inspired.

I don’t even know what my current transition looks like.  And already it seems less intimidating just knowing that I can bring the open heart I long to bring to others to myself.  How cool is that?

May I bless myself with this kind of ease around my current transitions and adaptations to the changes around and within me.  I bless myself.

Creative blessings to you all.

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