I rarely abandon an improvisation. But I have responded to recent events with a lot of powerful emotions.
Found Track
And that led me to leave a track to be found later. The last time I had touched the track was January 26th. Yet, when I played it back, I could remember the feelings I felt when I created that piano improv. As always for me, those emotions were varied.
To me, it sounded disjointed, agonizing, and fragmented. Still, I let it distract me from my current project. (Yes, I’m supposed to be working on my folk song album. Hey, I caught a cold, so I couldn’t track any vocals anyway.) In other words, I found power in the improvisation.
Improvisation and Emotion
Most of all, I remembered the anger I found in myself during that improv session. That’s when I recalled how I decided not to send my anger and hate out into the world. But things change.
In this case, it’s my heart that changed. I remembered that feelings are not something to hide. Oh sure, I don’t want them to take over my behavior and my attitude (completely). At the same time, I do want to acknowledge, recognize, and sometimes understand my emotional responses.
I still have a long way to go with recognizing and working with my emotions. But, meanwhile, I think a lot of people who are in-the-news these days could stand to be more emotionally aware and mature. Especially the men in our culture and our world. Maybe it’s just my projection, but it seems to me that these are the least aware of their feelings.
Beyond Finding
And so, it’s true: I’ve been derailed from my main project (again). Though I promise that the folk song album is still in the works, I am distracted with the track I found.
Now released by my alter-ego, Stanley G, hear this “found” EP with versions of that improvisation. And so, the lost will be found.
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Thank you for sharing emotionally Stan. I did access Out on SoundCloud and listened to its three pieces. The first two are fascinating results. Neither keep still at all and the overall fragmented outcome is very, as you say, ‘disturbing’. Exploratory in their journey. I felt both to have a brooding nuance. The last ‘tuo’ improvised piano piece doesn’t keep still either with ongoing descending and discordant inherents. I feel writing one’s own music is definitely used to release all types of self contained emotions, both instrumental and vocal, and you have certainly shown why it is important to do so here. All three tell your story. Hope your voice is now back. All the best.
Gray,
Wonderful to expand our connection in this way! I’ve been following your blog for a while now and always appreciate your heartfelt expressions and creative process stories.
Thanks for your insightful listening and response. Since these pieces were all based on a single improvisations (stretching and contracting the MIDI data), I almost hesitate to call these a composition. It was definitely a voyage of discovery (including the self-discovery) for me.
I do appreciate you.
Stan
Thank you Stan. Appreciation:ditto back. Your words here do resonate. Dropping the band and songwriting/music playing into background status back in 1982 it has been an interesting revisit over the last couple of years regarding new technology. Not AI by the way. Otherwise. It is amazing what can be achieved on GarageBand and Logic Pro with the endless possibilities. However. I feel I am going back to a basic presentation on the next two songs. Basic being the key word. As I say on the blogs every so often, I am a bass player. I am no musician regarding skills like your’s which can allow me to expand into what I hear in my head space. It is really good to access and listen to your pieces and see what you are achieving. So eclectic in nature.
Time is limited nowadays into visiting blogs. But I like to spend a few hours every so often accessing Reader. In retirement? It keeps the days ticking along with having something to keep interest going.
I can appreciate your journey on the Out project regarding experimentation. I have found little developing unlooked for melodies are there in the background through use of certain synthesised sound. Very Brian Eno . However. My lack of technological insights can be frustrating at times in the simplest of things. So fair play to this project Out journey.
This WordPress community is so valuable too for giving us encouragement. So..Cheers Stan for the encouragement.
I am honestly moved by your response and truth-telling. Wonderful.
Even if it’s rare, I look forward to our interactions!
It is always good to keep one’s feet on the ground and know and understand one’s own reality. All the best.