As I've started to become part of the blogosphere, I am reading more and more blogs. I especially like to read the blogs of creative people. Typically, I like to count myself among them.
I find that as I'm writing, there's a temptation to compose the post as if I have a lot to say on the subject; as if I'm already an expert, providing information and advice from my experience. Certainly, I can only write from my experience. That much is true. And I can also tell you that if someone claims to be so objective that he/she doesn't need to involve their experience, I will generally have no interest in reading her/his blog. (Suddenly, I have this urge to go back and re-read my own posts to make sure I did not fall into this temptation.)
The voice I'm longing to find in my writing is the voice of being real with you (and with myself). My judgement is that I have not found it fully up to this point. Speaking as if I'm an expert protects me from the “slings and arrows” of my imagination. It does little else as far as I can tell. In the end, it may be a way for me to lie to you — the reader. And that is something that I don't want to do.
Worse yet, it's a way to lie to myself and perpetuate the lie that says I need to protect myself by pretending to be someone that I'm not. (That was a very twisted and very true sentence.) I want to be myself. One of the ways I can do this is by presenting the real me here — not one cloaked in a facade of expertise. Don't get me wrong. I acknowledge that I have knowledge and wisdom. But it's not necessary to present that as being “the truth”. It is what it is: my truth.
So, my intention is to change the “voice” I use here. I can only write from my experiences. That's what I intend to do. Starting with this post.
Certainly, this should be no stretch for me. I'm an improviser. I take whatever is happening in the moment — internally and my interpretation of what's happening externally — and make it into musical, lyrical, poetic art. This creative process is not that hard for me. So, that's all I have to remember: this writing/blogging is just another form of improvisation. It allows me to exform all the stuff that's coming in during every minute of the waking (and maybe even sleeping) hours of the day.
…and there you go. Ta-dah! It worked. I let out the flow of thoughts from my current experience and created something new; something new for right now and something new for going forward. I am enjoying this new intention already. Thanks for witnessing.