#Poem – Precious

You are an extraordinary woman.

I am confounded both by your depth of self and my sometimes-present incapacity to observe your depth.

How do I sometimes mistake your wonderfulness for a dig? My ego. My self-protective desire to build myself up and to be seen as someone worthy and equal in your eye. Foolish motivation that it is.

Each work of your hands is a marvel: whether it be a trinket or nourishment, you seem to give it the same endearing attention and produce the same thriving results.

Jealousy. Usually in a relationship it is about some “other” coming into the midst of the relationship. In ours, for me, it is sometimes you that I’m jealous of: how much attention you get from all others, but mostly just what I observe in your day-in and day-out. The very enlivened self you bring to everything. I cry as I write these words. For I know that this enlivenment is what I long for as much as anything these days. Not how to “get” enlivened, but how to sustain the enlivenment that I know is real and see in you every day.

Here is my apology for not acknowledging everything you do to make my world better, brighter, easier. I am deeply grateful and know that I am a better man for loving you fully.

So, here’s to your beauty and the ways it comes through your smile, your preparations for our times together, your attentiveness, your eyes.

I see you now as I’ve never seen you. I vow to hold you in this beauty. I add this holding to my code of conduct (holding the way you see things as equal to the way I see things). I hold all this gently, for I know how fragile it all is.

You are a delight.

May you have the peace and ease you desire. May nothing be at the expense of your well-being.

For I know that your well-being is at the heart of your enlivenment which is at the heart of your extraordinary delight.

I hold all this as precious.

From Stan, September 22, 2008

~ by Stan Stewart
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